This Will Make You Blush

Recently, I was looking for books on actress and singer Eartha Kitt at my local library and discovered myself. You know, my birthday is soon and youthfulness really is in the head and in the spirit, not in great looks of the body. Age is just a number, and what others think of you cannot matter because before a certain age if they live that long, they do not even know what they are thinking themselves. Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Otis Redding all died at twenty-seven years old. Some could say stuff like “that is life” and “wow, they were fortunate before thirty to have all that success and die good-looking”, and that type of tripe.

Consider this, though, I actually agree more with Walter Russell, Charles Haanel and Napoleon Hill: If you do it right, all the good things start to happen after forty and into “old age”. The best lives happen this way, you are a loser into your thirties and then one day success happens upon you almost like an executive in their fifties or sixties or Susan Boyle, and you cannot stop the momentum. On the other hand, you could be Donald Trump who did his best deals and stuff young, and has nowhere to go but sideways in the presidency. My point to this “humorous stuff” and this is my serious point: It is all perspective.

Look, if it was not perspective and all outer conditions determining everything: The Indian Hindu and European Medieval Feudal caste systems would not have given way in a sense to the American system and ideas of achieving your dream yourself that we now have here in America and is “infecting the world” in a positive way with the idea that one can get above ground when it comes to growth wherever they are.

So, in reality, okay, I admit it: Losers and winners are made by themselves through their efforts or lack of efforts in the right and wrong places. I know that is a blanket statement. Think deeply about it though. Some people “with it all” squander the opportunity, many with “nothing at all” use their disadvantages as advantages and create greatness for themselves and others, “with it all” live up to “it all”, while many others with “nothing at all”, resign themselves to “nothing at all”. Either way, it is all perspective.

So, to sum up: We make ourselves wherever we are, and I use a quote from the last article I did to really sum up. I know it is a repeat, but we all need this repeat driven home, because without it, even the best of us resign ourselves to permanent failure and failure to look at things differently also. Oh, conjure that spirit of the Rough Rider Theodore Roosevelt and the old American deal where we can conjure our own greatness, I am not even thinking of his cousin Franklin Delano Roosevelt right now:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.

Personifying Doors

Hey there! I am using a door closer! That’s what the door nowadays are ATTACHED to. Doors are extensively using door closer, which is making them silent day by day as they are not participating in the noises of every house. Now, they silently watch things happen.

Although door closers have made them externally strong as they are hard to push and pull. They used to get smashed easily, then screaming in pain after it. Now no matter how much force you apply to push them or pull them, they will always have a silent reply to it, as if the door closer was the enlightenment they got which turned them into lord buddha. They even impersonate Mahatma Gandhi, as they only have one answer to the violence, which is non-violence. Peace is their motto now. Silence is their new religion.

But you just can’t leave out the doors who are so beautifully readied during the marriages. They are prepared in such a manner as if they are also going to get married with a bride door. In fact, in marriages, the doors who are noiseless must be called bridegrooms too. The door in the man’s room must be waiting to say, ‘make groom for the bride'(used pun intended). But here’s a catch. Not all doors are treated equally. You still leave the bathroom doors as ugly as possible. In many marriages, only the entrance door’s'(in the case of 2 entrances or maybe 3 or I don’t know, depends on how rich you are) are taken care of. Bathroom doors are still waiting for their decorative days. Racism even prevails between doors. No one realizes this fact that bathroom doors are the most important people in the case of emergency. But as one said, ‘the importance of someone is only realized when it’s gone’. If there were no bathroom doors, you would feel as helpless as an engineering student sitting at the first bench in an exam.

Like, in general, there are more males than females in this country, similarly, there are more doors than windows in the home. But, most doors and windows are very different from each other. Their personalities are poles apart. They can never be compatible with each other. One doesn’t let you involve in his life unless you open up with him, and the other is an outgoing person and everyone knows what’s inside her. There’s a famous phrase, ‘you make a better door than you do a window’, which tells us how this society is judgmental about doors and windows like above. Everyone just immediately jumps on conclusion listening only to one side of the story. But nobody understands this fact that if you try to know more about doors, you can peep through them and see what’s inside them. Although, you won’t be able to know everything about them. But as we say, something is better than nothing.

Also, personally, I hate windows in the way that they let people in too easily. One should be strong like doors, they don’t let everyone be included in their lives just like that. As we know, doors being somehow introvert, the key to their hearts is only provided to few people only. Generally, they lock themselves up, and they only allow the entry to those who know them well. But they should just be aware of the fake people who try to enter into your lives through their fake keys.

“Nothing is permanent in this universe. Even the galaxies rotate around their centers. If some things get stuck in your mind, just rather try to focus on things which make you forget negative thoughts and instill all the positivity in you. When you lose one opportunity, you often find a new one”, one window said to the other depressed one. “So don’t worry, when one door has SHUT down on you, some another will have OPEN arms for you: )” final words by the window, as both, let in air through them.

Minecraft: The Little Mermaid Has Legs!

Have you ever seen The Little Mermaid with Legs? I have, but I will get to that later in this article. Anyway, care to know some super interesting facts about Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”? I’ll try to keep it G rated, but the truth is the truth. Straight forward, honest, and ridiculously hilarious as you’ll soon find out.

This information might make you ask yourself one simple question. Was this movie really meant for kids?

Let’s get right to it. The Little Mermaid was perhaps my favorite Disney movie as a child. Yes, I guess I sort of had a crush on Ariel, but what boy didn’t?

Now with the fun facts:

In the musical version of The Little Mermaid, Ursula sings a love song about Triton, her brother. A little strange, huh?

Ursula is undoubtedly based upon the famous drag queen, Divine. Does that surprise you?

Ursula’s sidekicks, Flotsam and Jetsam, are her prized possessions.

Why was Sebastian a red crab if he had a Jamacian accent?

Aladdin was jealous of Prince Eric, he felt if he looked like him, he too could have Ariel.

Now onto the good stuff. The things that you might just wish you didn’t want to know. The things your kids don’t know, and I don’t advise you telling them anytime soon, however you will get a good laugh from this. I will warn you, this might make you dig up your old Disney movies. Especially The Little Mermaid. It would be unfortunate if you didn’t find this has humorous as most I share it with.

Now for the craziest facts about the movie:

A few things to note about Disney’s “Ariel”. First do you know how old she was in the movie? Sixteen. Yes, 16, most people would never guess. Surprisingly, I learned this while at a Disney resort this year during a trivia game by the pool (yes the trivia girl looked a lot like Ariel if you must know).

Did Ursula have Legs? Yes. In fact, when Ursala had legs, she was called Vanessa. Not exactly a name for such a wicked woman.

Lastly, the illustrator for the cover of the movie was about to be let go from his wonderful Disney career. He wasn’t too happy about this, I’ll tell you why. Consequently, he drew in a “dildo” on the first production cover to “stick it” to Disney. Funny, but true.

Seven Bollywood Heroines Taller Than Their Heroes

Many actresses like Deepika Padukone, Anushka Sharma, Katrina Kaif are taller than a lot of the male stars.

There was a time in Bollywood when heroines weren’t supposed to be taller than their heroes. In fact, if an actress, no matter how good looking she was, or how good her acting was, was way too tall, she had a lot of trouble finding work in Bollywood.

However, in the present times, things have changed to a large extent and they have changed for better. Now-a-days, most of the top actresses like Deepika Padukone, Anushka Sharma, Katrina Kaif are taller than a lot of the male stars and have absolutely no difficulty sharing the screen space with them. Bollywood as a whole has become a lot more accommodating when it comes to the way the heroines are perceived. Let us take a look at some of the heroines who have worked in movies where the heroes were shorter than them.

1. Deepika Padukone stands tall with a height of 1.74 m. She has worked with Shahrukh Khan in two films, Om Shanti Om and Happy New Year, who is a tad bit shorter than her with a height of 1.73 m. She has also worked with Saif Ali Khan in movies like Cocktail, Love Aaj Kal and Saif is quite shorter than her with a height 1.7 m.

2. Anushka Sharma, just like Deepika was a model before she entered Bollywood. She is really tall with a height of 1.75 m and has worked with a much shorter Salman Khan (1.7 m) in Sultan last year. She has also done movies with SRK like Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and Jab Tak Hai Jaan, who is also a little shorter than her with a height of 1.73 m.

3. Katrina Kaif is one of the most gorgeous actresses of Bollywood and is really tall with a height of 1.73 m. She has worked with all the three Khans, Aamir Khan (1.65 m), Salman Khan (1.7) and Shahrukh Khan (1.73 m), two of whom are shorter than her except SRK who has the same height as her. She has also worked with Saif Ali Khan in Phantom, who is also shorter than her with a height of 1.7 m.

4. Sonam Kapoor is another leading lady of Bollywood who is extremely tall with a height of 1.75 m. She has worked with Salman Khan in Saawariya and Prem Ratan Dhan Payo and he is quite shorter than her with a height of 1.7 m.

5. Sushmita Sen was the one of the few leading ladies in the 90s who was really tall with a height of 1.75 m. She has worked with both SRK and Salman in movies like Main Hoon Na. Maine Pyaar Kyun Kia and Biwi No. 1. While SRK is 1.73 m, Salman is even shorter with a height of 1.7 m.

6. Tabu was another Bollywood heroine in the 90s who was very tall with a height of 1.74 m. She was more of an art house actress but in one of the commercial movies she did in the 90s. Saajan Chale Sasural, she was taller than her leading hero, Govinda who had a height of 1.73 m.

7. Shilpa Shetty was another tall actress from the 90s with an height of 1. 74 m, who worked with Shahrukh Khan in Baazigar. He was a little shorter than her with a height of 1.73 m. She also worked with Salman Khan in films like Auzaar and he was a lot shorter than her with a height of 1.7 m.

Finding Humor in Pet Peeves

Pet peeves. Every single person has one. Whether you hate when people chew with their mouth open, or when people use the wrong form on your or you’re, you still have some sort of annoying habit you can not stand. Here is you chance to vent your frustrations. Tell me what gets on your nerves. Get your frustrations out in the comments below. But here’s what I want you to think about. Think about how angry and annoyed that habit makes you and I want you to find a little humor in it. I’m going to tell you what I find annoying just below here and then I’m going to find the fun in the situation and turn it into a good thing.

I work at a bank so I come in contact with lots and lots of people every day, so I see lots of different habits people possess. One of the most frustrating things people do at a bank are complaining loudly in line about how long things take (when there is a perfectly good ATM outside that can take care of that deposit). Now, I told you I was going to find the fun in this situation.

Even though I may be irked by the sighs and complaints of my customers, I know that I will always come in contact with people who are angry for whatever reason, and I must try to turn the situations around. For example, today I started telling a story about what it must have been like when we used the barter system trading chickens. I mentioned how funny it is how sometimes we come across counterfeit bills at the bank and how funny it must have been for someone to try to barter with a counterfeit chicken (clearly this is absurd).

But who knows!

Maybe that stupid silly story was exactly what a grumpy customer needed to hear to start their day in the right direction.

My challenge to you. Think of a story about a person or situation that you may consider annoying and frustrating and write it all out. But then, turn around and find the fun in the situation. Laugh at it, because that’s what we really need to do. We need to laugh. Especially at such silly things as pet peeves.

The Flintstone Look

I have begun to have trouble seeing my shoes when I stand and look down at my feet. I can’t see my belt buckle either. When men age, the gut drops. So far, I have not discovered an exercise that will reverse what has happened to me. My body has begun to look like the body of cartoon character Fred Flintstone.

Animation studio Hanna-Barbera created the Flintstone cartoon series, which many folks found to be funny because they seemed to have modern appliances that were powered by feet, small animals, dinosaurs, wind, or most anything except fossil fuels or electricity. Each episode centered on Fred Flintstone, a big-hearted, big mouth bumbler, who never gets a break. You may have heard the saying, “Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then.” Rarely did Fred get lucky, and if he did, he squandered his fortune, or he would be “the sucker that no one gives an even break.” Yet, everyone loved Fred because he was true to his family and friends. Sad-eyed Fred admitted that he was wrong or stupid. Everyone who watched that show forgave Fred, because he deserved it.

Fred’s body was shaped like a block of wood with rounded corners. We never saw his body, but we did see how his animal skin hung on that body. I doubt that Fred could stand up and still see his shoes either. Oh, yeah, right – Fred did not wear shoes (or a belt). His short friend, Barney Rubble, also sported the block of wood look. Indeed, I think every caveman in that show looked that way. Yet, their women looked great! Fred and Barney’s wives had the hourglass curves, and their animal skin clothes must have come from Bloomin Rocks (Bloomingdales) department store.